Forced to endure the Chris Moyles Show playing on the audio speakers at the gym, I overheard a comment that, even by his standards, was right down there at the bottom of the chemical toilet. The talentless super-sized tub of rancid lard was discussing Glastonbury with another moronic member of his studio posse chums during which five chins Moyles remarked that if he wanted to pay to spend the weekend in third world conditions he’d head straight for Ethiopia. This, I presume, a reference to the tented camps set up to receive and shelter the starving in that country. Coming from a man who has obviously never missed an opportunity to stuff his face from the moment he was born, bad taste hardly covers it.

The day this sack of fetid wind overdoses on doughnuts and explodes in a fireball of dripping fat can’t come soon enough.